In the future we'll all be gay
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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