What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
