I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You ruined the universe
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