Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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