i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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