Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
