jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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