Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
