That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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