But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I looked at my own cervix.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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