I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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