An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
