not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
