my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
