I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
