is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
