I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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