We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
