His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
