Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
