I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
