I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
