I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
