dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
