Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
