i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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