My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
NoShamevember. You game?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
