I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
