It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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