Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
