we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
