She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
