She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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