I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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