do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
