In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
