If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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