Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
