I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
