Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
