That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
