At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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