Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
