yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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