there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
