Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
