Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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