I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
