did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
