He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he fucked my hip out of place.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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